Dr. Thurston Sawyer II of Long Beach, California, passed away on March 4, 2026, at the age of 64. Dr. Sawyer was known for his sharp wit, keen intellect, and unparalleled ability to always offer unsolicited advice.

Born on August 1, 1961, Dr. Sawyer spent his life pursuing various academic degrees, accumulating a collection of letters after his name that rivaled the alphabet itself. Despite his impressive education, Dr. Sawyer was best known for his groundbreaking research on the correlation between excessive coffee consumption and a well-developed sense of sarcasm.

Throughout his career, Dr. Sawyer was revered by his colleagues for his propensity to never shy away from a heated debate, regardless of the topic. His infamous "Sawyerisms" will be remembered by all who had the pleasure (or displeasure) of engaging in conversation with him.

Dr. Thurston Sawyer II leaves behind a legacy of intellectual banter, thought-provoking conversations, and a library full of books that he never actually read. In lieu of flowers, please honor his memory by enjoying a cup of black coffee and rolling your eyes at someone who deserves it.