We are gathered here today to remember the life and antics of Fred Murphy, who somehow managed to survive on frozen pizza and energy drinks for 61 years. Born on July 20, 1962, in Wall Township, New Jersey, Fred was known for his love of bad jokes and even worse dance moves.

Despite his best efforts, Fred never quite mastered the art of adulting. He was notorious for his inability to cook anything more complicated than microwave popcorn and his talent for losing socks in the laundry. His refrigerator was always stocked with nothing but beer and condiments, which he deemed the essentials for a balanced diet.

Fred's idea of a well-decorated home was a collection of mismatched furniture and a TV that was permanently stuck on the Home Shopping Network. He once tried to assemble a bookshelf from IKEA and ended up accidentally building a birdhouse instead. Oh, Fred.

Despite his quirks and questionable life choices, Fred had a heart of gold and a knack for making people laugh. He was the life of every party, even if he did tend to overstay his welcome. His friends will always remember him for his terrible fashion sense, his love of cheesy '80s music, and his uncanny ability to turn any situation into a joke.

Rest in peace, dear Fred. May you finally find a fridge stocked with more than just beer and ketchup in the great beyond. You will be missed, but never forgotten.