It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Haidar Jaan, who somehow managed to survive 27 years without children to drive him insane.

Haidar was born on June 6, 1997, in York, England, and he lived a life full of laughter and questionable decisions.

He had a unique talent for getting himself into ridiculous situations and always had a quick-witted comeback ready to go. Haidar was known for his love of good food, good music, and good times.

Unfortunately, Haidar's life was cut short on his 55th birthday due to the cause of death being listed as "No bitches." We're not sure what that means, but we can only assume it was one hell of a way to go out.

Despite his untimely departure, Haidar will be remembered fondly by all who knew him as a one-of-a-kind character who could always bring a smile to your face.

Rest in peace, Haidar. May you forever be surrounded by the bitches you so often joked about.