On November 25th, 2024, the world lost a truly mediocre individual, Isaac Hay of Glassboro, New Jersey. Born on January 2nd, 1958, Issac spent 66 long years gracing us with his presence, although most people would probably have preferred he stayed in bed.

Issac will be remembered for his uncanny ability to blend into the background and his impressive talent for always choosing the blandest option in any given situation. He was a master of mediocrity and a true champion of living a completely unremarkable life.

Despite his best efforts, Issac somehow managed to spawn one child, Jenair Daley, who will surely carry on his legacy of being entirely forgettable. He also leaves behind three grandchildren, whose names no one can quite remember, much like their dear departed grandparent.

In lieu of flowers, the family kindly asks that you donate to the Society for the Promotion of Blandness in Issac's memory. Rest in peace, Issac Hay. Your unremarkable presence will be unremarkably missed.