It is with a heavy heart (and a dash of irreverence) that we bid farewell to Patrick "Biff" Crocker, who held the esteemed title of Manassas Park's neighborhood troublemaker. Biff was born on January 17, 1956, and met his untimely demise on September 12, 2023, just moments after realizing that juggling chainsaws was not a marketable talent. Catch you on the flip side, Biff!

Biff always loved to keep people on their toes, much to the sheer delight of his parents, Blake and Carolynn, affectionately known as "Blake & Carrie." They truly couldn't have asked for a more entertaining offspring, and boy, did he deliver! Biff would make their hearts skip a beat as he concocted wild schemes that seemed more suited to a comic book than real life. Who else would have thought that running through a cornfield dressed as a scarecrow was the height of good, clean fun? Oh, Biff, you've given us all some unforgettable memories!

Speaking of unforgettable, Biff's spouse, Tammy Sue Vaughlner, will always cherish the rollercoaster ride of their marriage since saying "I do" back in 1975. Together, they triumphed over countless adventures and calamities, including Biff's obsession with turning their backyard into a theme park, complete with a rollercoaster that only worked one out of five times. Tammy Sue will undoubtedly treasure these memories, though she may need a therapist, or two, to help her cope. We salute you, brave soul!

Biff and Tammy Sue's love brought forth a delightful chaos in the form of seven mischievous children: Bucky, Willow, River, Clement, Delilah, Chance, and Wyatt. These little terrors were a constant reminder that karma has a sense of humor. Whether it was turning the living room into a temporary zoo or trying to microwave a rubber chicken, the Crocker clan never failed to entertain. We hold our breaths in anticipation for their future endeavors, and we mean that in the most anxious way possible!

As hard as it may be to believe, Biff did manage to find gainful employment. He dedicated himself to being a farmer. He believed that adding a dash of absurdity to the farming world was what truly made the crops grow. His colleagues remember him fondly for his unique approach to work attire, often sporting a banana suit or, on special occasions, a pink tutu. Bravo, Biff, for making 9-to-5 a little less mundane!

But it wasn't all whimsy and pranks for Biff. He also had a deep sense of duty and honor, having served in both Iran and Afghanistan. Biff's bravery reminded us all that heroes come in many shapes and sizes, and sometimes wear mismatched socks. Thank you, Biff, for your service and for always standing tall, even in the face of danger, or a rather aggressive squirrel.

Tragically, Biff's life was cut short due to complications from surgery. Apparently, one cannot replace every bone in their body with bionic upgrades without expecting some minor setbacks. While Biff may not have achieved the superhero status he had hoped for, he will forever remain in our hearts as the family's personal Superman.

Preston and Sons of Manassas is serving the family. The arrangements are being handled by Funeral Director Jennifer Preston who loves the sense of humor the family invokes on such a sad occasion. Biff didn’t want this time to be sad or depressing so he wants everyone to be joyful and remember good times.

Rest easy, Biff, and may your afterlife be filled with eternal laughter and endless supplies of whoopee cushions.