Obituary for Shirley Kitchens

Born: January 14, 1950

Died: July 12, 2023

Location: Schenectady, New York, United States

It is with heavy hearts and a hefty dose of laughter that we bid farewell to our beloved Shirley Kitchens, who has departed this world on July 12, 2023, leaving behind countless anecdotes and a legacy of mischief.

Shirley, also known as the Queen of Sarcasm, was born on January 14, 1950, in Schenectady, New York. From a young age, it was clear that she had an uncanny knack for cracking jokes and never taking life too seriously. She often claimed that her first words were not "mama" or "dada," but rather "knock, knock."

Shirley was a proud lifelong resident of Schenectady, where she brought joy to the community with her quick wit and infectious laughter. She was renowned for her witty comebacks and hilarious one-liners that left everyone around her in stitches.

When she wasn't busy delivering punchlines, Shirley enjoyed playing pranks on her friends and family. There was never a dull moment when she was around, as you could always expect the unexpected. Unpredictability was her middle name (metaphorically, of course, as her parents apparently had a thing for ordinary middle names).

Shirley had an irresistible charm that attracted people from all walks of life. Her sharp tongue was her superpower, and she used it to unite people in laughter and good humor. Even in the face of adversity, she managed to find a funny twist that made everyone feel a little lighter.

Aside from her comedic escapades, Shirley was an avid collector of funny trinkets and gadgets. Her home resembled a museum of laughter, with shelves and walls adorned with quirky memorabilia and whimsical decorations. She delighted in surprising visitors with unexpected gags that often resulted in soda spewing from unsuspecting noses.

Shirley is survived by her family, who she loved to tease mercilessly. She leaves behind her exasperated yet amused children, Martha and George, and her loving partner in crime, her husband Harold. They will forever cherish the memories and the laughter they shared with Shirley.

To honor Shirley's memory, her family kindly requests that attendees wear their most outlandish attire to the funeral. Shirley would have wanted to ensure her final celebration was just as lively and laughter-filled as her life.

Although she has left our world, Shirley's jokes and pranks will continue to echo in our hearts and minds. Let us remember her the way she would have wanted, with laughter, mischief, and maybe even a playful prank or two.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the Schenectady Humor Society, an organization dedicated to spreading laughter and smiles, just as Shirley did throughout her hilarious lifetime.

We say goodbye to Shirley Kitchens, a legendary jester, and forever keeper of our smiles. May you rest in eternal laughter, dear Shirley.