We are gathered here today to remember Theadore Santana, a man who was known for his love of good food, bad jokes, and questionable fashion choices.

Theadore was born on March 2, 1993 in West Hartford, Connecticut, where he spent most of his days dreaming of becoming a professional cheeseburger taster. Although he never quite achieved that goal, he did manage to eat his weight in fast food at least once a week.

Despite his lack of children, Theadore had a way with kids and could often be found entertaining them with his impressive collection of fart noises and dad jokes. He may not have been the most responsible adult, but he certainly knew how to make a room full of children laugh.

In his free time, Theadore enjoyed binge-watching TV shows, playing video games, and arguing with strangers on the internet. He was a master at procrastination and could often be found putting off important tasks in favor of watching cat videos on YouTube.

While he may not have left behind a legacy of great accomplishments, Theadore will always be remembered for his infectious laugh, his love of all things greasy, and his uncanny ability to make even the most mundane moments hilarious.

Rest in peace, Theadore. May you find all the cheeseburgers and bad jokes your heart desires in the great beyond.