Vivian "Drew" Hassele, 71, daughter, sister, and friend to many, passed away on November 2nd, 2023. She was preceded in death by her brother Fred and her parents, Walter & Tina, and is survived by her siblings, Janet, Kenneth, Carol, and Danny, as well as her lifelong friend and former domestic partner, Kecia.
Originally hailing from New York and Long Island, and always proudly keeping that NYC swagger, she called the San Francisco Bay Area home for the last 46 years. Her prime years of youth and vigor were spent immersed in and embraced by the burgeoning LGBTQ community of the 70's and 80's. Community members are most likely to recognize her as a longtime bartender and maintenance manager for Amelia's lesbian bar and dance club on Valencia St., though you may also remember her from Rikker's Liquors or occasional stints at Maud's and Olive Oil's. For medical reasons, Vivian effectively retired in the mid-90's.
Intellectually curious and perpetually learning, she was a fixture at her local libraries. Fascinated with history and sociology, she adored taking classes at Skyline and Cañada Colleges and reveled in the confidence, tolerance, and activism of the younger generations there. Naturally, she joined the Gay/Straight Student Alliance to continue her outreach. She courageously lived out and proud - educating by living example - using warmth, compassion, faith, and humor to bring people closer to understanding and acceptance. She was an exceptionally generous and loyal woman.
She is deeply loved and missed.
Vivian's funeral liturgy and celebration of life were held on 11/20/23 at Pacifica Chapel by the Sea. The committal service was at Skylawn Memorial Park and the repast gathering was at Moss Beach Distillery - in time for sunset right on the coastline she so loved.
Link to the photo slide show played at her funeral: https://youtu.be/NVmgBVUosuc
Complete recording of the funeral (webcast version) including the liturgy, eulogy, and personal remarks from friends and family: https://www.viewlogies.net/pacifica-chapel-by-the-sea/tK58xrpHp?pin=606596
Additional photos and videos to be added shortly.
In lieu of flowers, please make a donation in her honor to any of the following: National Lymphedema Network (lymphnet.org/donate), GLBT Historical Society (glbthistory.org/donate), or the Muscular Dystrophy Association (mda.org/ways-to-give) in memory of her beloved brother, Fred.
And, finally, we invite you to comment on this obituary site under the "Memories" and "Guestbook" tabs or feel free to contact us directly at cheffiness@icloud.com (Kecia.)
Thank you all for the beautiful support and remembrances.
Guestbook
Ahh, but this is what I’ve been texting to folks who weren’t there: “This was kinda the best part though... As my therapist said, 'Pacifica Lesbians in Flannel, that's all you need to say. I've got it now.' Our niece and nephew (Gwendelyn and Anthony) helped set up the table... we were in a chapel, not the church... the priest had no say in the matter.”
Sharing the below remembrance on behalf of Page Bachynsky (aka Carol), Vivian's younger sister: THE POOL STORY Some memories are just that - things you look back on that make you smile or conjure all types of emotion. There is one unforgettable memory that was more like a bonding experience for me and Vivian. When I was around 6 and Vivian was 16, we shared the top story of a 3-story house in Maspeth, Queens in New York. 50 years ago, that neighborhood had large lots of property which would be uncommon today. We sat on a half-acre lot, the back garden consisted on thick grass, which my father used to fashion a bocci ball court on the area closest to the house and the back side of the property consisted of an above ground pool approximately 22 feet in diameter. Where the property ended was a 10-12-foot drop into the neighbor’s yard in a bi-level style. The pool was the highlight of the neighborhood attracting people my mother used to call "close acquaintances" but it seemed all were welcomed. One early morning that summer, about 6:00, Vivian and I were both woken immediately by what we thought was a magnificent thunderclap bordering on an explosion. We ran to the window in my room that faced the yard to see that pool, ripped down the middle, thousands of gallons cascading through the fence and into the neighbor's property below. Pool toys, floats and volleyballs and broken flowerpots seemed to move at an alarming rate as Vivian and I stood frozen clutching the windowsill. The force of the water was so great that the fence began to bow. We looked at each other, appropriately stunned, then broke into uncontrollable laughter that lasted for minutes. My parent's room was on the other side of the house, so they didn't hear it and were completely unaware until my mother came in to find out what was so funny at that hour of the morning. The owner of the property that now had a new waterfall was an elderly gentleman who spoke little English. As my father, now standing outside, was helpless, the elderly gentlemen came out and started cursing my father in German as his basement filled with water. I think if I am fortunate enough to live to a ripe old age I will never forget that morning not only because it was funny - in today's world it would have gotten 10s of thousands of views, but because it was something that only the two of us experienced together. It became "our memory" to cherish, which I do to this day. Page L. Bachynsky
Drew (Vivian) always had a smile, a kind word, and a gift of laughter for me over all the years. I'd bet she shared that gift with everyone, and the world is a better place for it. She truly did lead by example! I'm proud to call her my sister in law and friend. I will miss her strength, determination and humor. ❤️ Jackie
I love the pictures Kecia! Thank you! Drew was a very vibrant and curious person. Lucky to have such a wonderful best friend. ❤️
Kecia planted a tree for Vivian.